Monday, January 15, 2007

The end.

Rich saved approximately $60 by flying home 2 days later than everyone
else.

roll the credits

we made it back from TJ. strangely enough, we were only the vicims of attempted extortion when we got BACK to the u.s.

thanks california. civilization jr has been a very welcoming place.


love forced forward

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Last day

Rich puked again.

Property of Rich Miles

K@ is in for two minutes of pleasure and forty five minutes of tears.

Rich Miles- A Photoshoot

He's lovely.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

right back at the start...

We're back in ventura for another show. The show was pretty sweet. I enjoyed Blacklisted set. I also watched the Eagles lose in their all-so common fashion. We'll get 'em next year, again.

no need for lies if the news aint breaking





hahaha wow

hello

hello. there has been no computer access so this has been lacking. gus pooped himself. i'll post more later.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Updates..

Last night was the show in Petaluma. We all wish there would have been
more people there.

Afterwards, we drove to San Fran to meet Crange and Alex. I ate a meal
of punishment at 7-11 because Del Taco was closed. We then returned to
the Lusty Lady. I taught one of the women Rich's name, and laughs were
had by all. Unfortunately, no one came.

Then we started the long journey back to the LA area. I slept through
most of this, but rest assured that it sucked.

Oh yeah, I called a girl at the Petaluma show "sweet tits." She was not
pleased.

Anyway, we got breakfast at Del Taco. I missed its fatty embrace. Then
we dicked around for a while and made tour covers for the LP. They're a
sick "Slip It In" rip. Only 25 made!

Then we picked up Hillary, pictured above. We went to Del Taco again.
It was great. Despite this, the added tension of another passenger,
mixed with the odor of her menses has raised the tension level in the
van. In an attempt to lighten the mood, Craig pretended to drink his
own urine. Many were grossed out. Unfortunately, this did not prevent
Gus and Rich from partaking in an altercation. There was a lot of
verbal assault, which stemmed from Blam's krakdown on temperature
regulation.

We're now en route to Riverside, CA.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Golden Gate

I'll suck a cock on the Golden Gate before I bring you a mixed green,
buddy.

Golden Era

Rich Miles got forcefed vegan flan. It tasted like total shit.

San Francisco

Sarah Plante was cool enough to take us to eat before she had to go to
work. We ate at Golden Era, shit was pretty good.

Dissed & Dismissed

Rich shit into a potato chip bag behind a dumpster in the wee hours of
the morning. He's well on his way to homelessness.

San Fran

So my phone died last night, so I missed some solid blogging. San Fran
is pretty cool thusfar. I got mad at two dirtbag hippie fucks and told
them, "I pray to god you die before the sun rises." Hopefully it
happened.

Rich, Gus, Craig, and I went to "The Lusty Lady." It was a wild
experience. You put money in, girls dance, and they can see you.
You're supposed to jerk off. We put our money in, and the girl sees my
Bad Brains shirt and says, "You like the Bad Brains?" I yell, "Fuck
yeah I like the Bad Brains!" It was all downhill from there. A hot
black girl danced for Craig, but my yelling prevented him from
completion. The girls dancing made fun of Rich, and I knew he was a
huge baby, so I had to take one for the team and finish. I don't know
how I did it, but I assure you the dancing women didn't help and it was
completely unsatisfying.

Every time we drive through a tunnel, everyone yells at Rich and tells
him all the ways he's disappointed them. It's very damaging to his
gentle soul.

We're going back to SF today, and the show tonight is in Petaluma.

day 7, no skateboards, rubbie booths

as much as i'd like to write a long winded thing right now, i don't have the patience to sit here for that long. im hyper, it's 3:30 in the morning and i want to run around. i'm waiting for laundry to get done, and san francisco rules. gus and scott have already started snoring, and rich got made fun of by a stripper in a rubbie booth today. klint will probably post something about that since he was there for it. that happening is probably one of my favorite things that has happened yet. santa cruz is a weird place and i don't think there is one angry person in that town. i wouldn't mind if i never saw it again. no santa cruz skateboard shop? that's stupid.

i'm going to try and write a couple things tomorrow to make up for this, but like i said, im hyper and there's a pool here, so i'm going to go do something i'll regret.

my top 7 things for the past couple days :
1. descendents
2. dys
3. lemonade
4. hot tea
5. sling blade voice
6. messages
7. apples and bananas

"i cum on my tummy from time to time, so what." - rich miles

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Santa Cruz

It's full of hippies, transients, hobos, and undesireables. I'm not in
any rush to return.
There are no norms in santa cruz. Its horrifying.

--
===============================================
Brought to you by, Cingular Wireless Messaging
http://www.CingularMe.COM/

Rich Quote:

"I look like I've been ridden hard and put away wet."
Rich miles is giving craig weird looks. Im scared because im in between. BBB aparently hates a hot van. Everything sux.


--
===============================================
Brought to you by, Cingular Wireless Messaging
http://www.CingularMe.COM/

Inginuity at its finest...

Rich invents a new way to piss.

Day 6, pine fresh, bro mosh.

our van just keeps getting meaner. it’s awesome. today was a pretty relaxed day, which was nice because it gave my brain a little time to catch up with some things. we woke up earlier today and got out of LA so we could get to venice beach before we had to go up north. when we got to venice some kids attacked our van and threw apples at it, which I thought was awesome and hilarious. craig chased them down and screamed at them in german to confuse them, and confused they were. blam was pretty pumped on going to the suicidal tattoo shop, so we did that and a few of us got “I want more” tattoos, by some dude named monkey. when we were right about to leave, sketo ran into some punks, who we ended up talking to and then listened to them talk shit on parsons. turns out that they have a band, Rabies, that parsons is doing a show for in the summer. they had a lot to say about his hair, and his accent. it was pretty entertaining.

our show today was in santa barbara, which is a pretty neat town. as soon as we got off the exit it started to smell like a pine tree, and it was awesome. i could get used to being in a place that didn’t smell like shit most of the time. when we showed up klint and i decided it was best to stop our bet of who could go the longest without eating. there was free food, and it didn’t really make sense for the both of us to not be eating anyways. i wish it would have lasted at least two days, something about it only being a day makes it seem like even more of a waste to me. the show was small but fun, and the last band that played was interesting to watch. there were a few bros there, bro moshing it up, while some old man video taped it. cool. our set was the best i think we’ve played while being out here, and also had some good laughs. klint alienated a poor jewish lady by poking her in the head while singing the chain line “it’s a matter of pride!”, and i played the set in my underwear and an unbuttoned shirt that i promised i would wear. i think klint has some real issues with being jewish that he needs to work out.

i’m starting to really worry about rich’s health, he’s been happy for two days straight so something isn’t right. sketo dropped the ball on making sure he was breathing properly but it wasn’t as much of an issue today as it was the previous days. his rash is getting better and is now almost gone, at least on his face. today, he found a lacrosse stick in venice and started shaking it at everyone, while murmuring witch curses on them under his breath. i think he really wishes he was a wizard, but realizes that he never could be, if not for anything else, than just the lack of hair. maybe one day miles.

the drive from venice to santa barbara was pretty nice, and we got to see some cool stuff. klint went into a red lobster while we were stopped at one point, and told everyone he had a bomb and ran out. i’m surprised they didn’t call the cops, and extremely relieved. he seems like he’s in a much better mental state today, and besides that he’s been pretty well behaved. i don’t think it’s intentional, but it seemed like brad was compensating for klint today. ii’ve never heard someone make so many wiener jokes while watching someone eat a hot dog before. brad never seemed like the type of person to do that. while the last band was playing, he joined in with all the dudes bro moshing, and kept screaming, “come on guys, we can all pretend we’re not secret homosexuals like these guys!” at us. those dudes either didn’t hear him, or just thought it was cool he knew their secret. i don’t know.

triple B was not himself today. i don’t know if it was getting tattooed, or what. On the way to santa barbara he got in an argument with blam over punk rock trivia and told everyone, he would not speak until blam bought him a snack as a making up gesture, and got an apology from everyone in the van for not agreeing with him. it surprised me to see him act like this, but later on he was a little more chilled out. fred hammer came out to this show too, and after we were done playing triple b gave him some guitar lessons. he was extremely stoked on it, and kept insisting on teaching him how to play forced forward songs so we could be a bi-coastal band. doesn’t make much sense to me, but maybe i’m missing out on something.

craig is a little bit low on money, if anyone is interested in helping a good soul out, please get in touch with him through here, so he can get you his paypal account address. he said he will repay you with raisins, and pictures that will make you smile for days. blams birthday is in a couple days, and craig has been insisting on doing something nice for him, but lacks the funds.

tonight after the show blam ate 8 burritos from del taco in one sitting, as a forced forward challenge. the man is crazy. i don’t think he’ll feel well tomorrow, in fact, i’m sure of it. part of me thinks he did this just to spite craig, since he has money and wanted to rub it in his face. craig took it as a cheap shot and spent the better part of 30 minutes making the most annoying sound you could imagine to frustrate him. i laughed a few times because of it, and so did the others.

sketo is the sneakiest man on this tour. every time we stopped today, he managed to disappear. he is a true asian, and doesn’t even need the cover of the night to disappear. there are times were i worry that all of our bags and money will go missing with him. as soon as he runs out of either alcohol or money to afford alcohol i’m sure it will happen. hopefully i’m wrong.

i’ve finally gotten the chance to upload a few pictures that brad and i have taken, onto my computer. i wish i had better pictures of the van looking mean, but we haven’t had the opportunity to get pictures all the time.



marquee at the showcase theater the other night.



the rash on rich's eye, as of today. it's gone down a lot.



MAKING IT LOOK MEAN!!



side of the van



side of the van pt. 2



side of the van pt. 3



gas tank



blam loves this shit!



bently.



yes!



klint looks like bucky o'hare in this picture. things like this should make people fear him.



pangea.



i was hanging out of the van at 80 mph taking this picture. rich was freaking out.



hand injury pt. 2



hollywood sucks, and i hate this guy.



underwear and shit.



pretty much sums up this whole trip.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Santa Barbara

Alan from Gather is a solid dude. Many thanks to him for helping us
with this last minute show.

Meanest van around!

This van has an attitude problem!

I WANT MORE

Blam, Gus, and Justin just got matching Suicidal tattoos at ST Tattoos.

New day

Rich puked again.

In response..

He sounds like he's in a malfunctioning iron lung. You can even hear
the gears grinding.

true

that nigga took a payday loan on borrowed time

in response to gus' last post

his life is almost over. be nice.

rich miles is not long for this earth

right now he is snoring, and instead of sounding like snoring, it sounds like that geriatric motherfucker is hooked up to life support

day 5, day off, we're mean

"one time i punched a dog so hard, it did a backflip." klint has been talking in his sleep for the past few minutes and been rambling about such things.

today was our day off, and probably the most humorous day yet. we hung out in san diego again for most of the day and checked out a couple different spots we didn't have the chance to the day before. the beach in san diego was alright, they had big waves, and tons of the sterotypical, "yea, brah!" type of people. kat, the girl we had been staying with has a problem with stealing and felt the need to steal something from every store we went into. i don't think i can remember everything she stole, but i'll try to recall most of them.
1. two Beck cd's
2. 16 postcards with pictures of snakes and bears
3. shampoo
4. a water pipe
5. a pumpkin spice abc cookie

and some more stuff that i can't remember. it was pretty funny, but i think she needs help. we might be staying with her again in a few days, and if so, im going to set up a intervention.

blam was pretty upset that i left him out on my update last night, but i think it was a good thing. he's been very quiet for the most part, so when trying to remember everything that's been happening, i've left out a few things he's done. sorry blam. today i think he was trying to make up for that and make sure he did something note worthy. he was responsible for one of the best pranks i've been part of, and is also a real cocksmen. "what am i doing?". that might not make sense to anyone else, but it was important to note. blam hates when people mess with the van, and doesn't like the idea of it looking mean. infact, he is the only person opposed to it looking mean, and im pretty sure he's a little bit nervous about it, cause it looks mean as shit. tomorrow our van will be attacked by seagulls, im sure of it.

rich miles has been snoring not only louder than any normal healthy man would, but also has been farting, scratching himself, and making extremely disturbing noises for the last hour and a half he's been sleeping for. i am worried about his health and sketo has put himself in charge of watching his health and making sure he stretches, and breathes properly before and after eating. i wish him the best of luck with it. today was the first day miles was actually happy for more than the first two hours he was awake, it was a nice change. here are some rich miles quotes from the day :

"i'm glad to get away from her!"
"i don't see myself having kids, but maybe someday after i learn to take care of myself."
"i haven't touched my dick for days, well... not in that way. i want to make sure the rash is gone."
"craig, when is the last time you titty fucked a girl?"

none of these things were said in context to anything, and were probably said at a random moment when it didn't even make sense. things like that are what makes him rich miles.

brad expressed a lot more anger towards everyone today, and im pretty sure it's because we're finally outing him for his racism. earlier today while at the beach, i had to steal his wallet to keep him from going in a head shop to pretend to buy a bong, and make fun of the poor jewish man that worked there. he got pretty angry about me stealing his wallet and then moshed me the same way welch moshed into my bathroom once.

gus has started an internet, and phone battle with parsons, who is not even here. gus is angry at parsons cause they're both from the country but parsons has that southern charm and all he got from it was a pair of overalls and a pitchfork. im trying to stay out of the middle of it. i think gus could take parsons, but he's still scared of me and i think he's worried about me siding with him and having to take on the both of us. besides that, i will never again refer to gus on this by his name, but rather his new name, Triple B, or Big Baby Bowman. i saw triple b's wiener today, it was a strange ten minutes. katie, i wish you were here to see him.

sketo went on a "coloring" rampage today and almost got arrested. while at the beach he was trying to write his name on as many seashells as possible, with the theory that they would travel all around the world just like trains, so he was, "gettin' up hard", in graff terms. i think all the drinking that he's been doing is really messing with him, and a day of rest would do him a lot of good.

klint has gone insane. i don't think much is left of his mind anymore. he has been talking about using jewish people to make human chum to mutate sharks, and other nonsense, like the dog comment. earlier today, on the way to LA from san diego, he decided to get naked from the waist down to try and freak us all out. blam ended up stopping at a gas station during it, and at that time everyone struggled with him and i ended up getting him out of the van. keep in mind that at this point, there are people looking at a pantsless klint. he's so frustrated that we got him out of the van, that he forgets that people are looking at him and he just starts headbutting and punching me. i now have a naked man attacking me, so im laughing hard as shit cause of what's going on. after i push him off of me, he realizes that he has a huge lump on his forehead, and his hand hurts but nothing is wrong with me. i like the way things work out sometimes.

craig is still number one. true story. number one.

the night was ended with us at del taco making the van look mean. some stupid man, probably about 35 years old decides it's his business to try and get us in trouble for decorating our van. that stupid man ended up getting himself in trouble. irony.

i have finally figured out a good replacement for my diary that was ruined by the dirty six. im pretty happy with my new idea and im sure it's almost as good as the diary was. it's late and i can't remember everything else i wanted to write about.

"klint, did you shit your pants? there's boxers in the trashcan." -scott

Monday, January 8, 2007

Hollywood Park Casino

FLOORPUNCH!
Just wait for justin's blog entry.,

--
===============================================
Brought to you by, Cingular Wireless Messaging
http://www.CingularMe.COM/

Scrabble!

Blam & I laid waste to K@, Brad, and Scott in an epic Scrabble match.
There was no contest. We implemented our final solution to the
crossword question.

parsons

I understand your last comment. I hear your bass virtuosity all over the coke bust songs. no one could ever fill your shoes should you decide to jet.

Pt. 2

And again.

If you're gunna spew, spew in this...

Rich just puked again.

THE NEW BET

Justin and I have entered into a bet. No eating. Loser buys the winner
a meal.

Gus is getting a haircut.

What a baby.

the origin of the feces

not just a type o negative record anymore

klint's last post

if you're saying to youself "what is the shit?" you're on the right track

EW.

Self explanitory.

Justin stands down a nazi

The van keeps getting meaner.

brocheous walker parsons

is a bitter bitter grit. he is bummed at the fact that FF is in sunny california, and he is in the cold miserable appalachian mountains, in a tin roof shack, with an outhouse, and an uppity goat named jeb. He has to walk two miles each way to the town well just to get laura fresh water, which she demands every morning at 7 am. after that, he has to participate in at least two barn then he has to clean the buckshot out of the possums that his daddy shot for dinner. sour grapes indeed.

gus bowman

SHOTGUN!!

scrabble, and day 4

blam, brad, sketo, and kat are playing scrabble right now and they would not let me play cause they fear my skills and are having trouble with accepting how inferior they are to me. i have never played scrabble before, so i do not understand where this fear came from but it only makes sense. first gus is physically scared of me, and now they are scared of my scrabble skills.

today we jumped on the hope con/ceremony show at the che cafe thanks to lewd acts and tyler. the che cafe is awesome, and i wish something like that could excist on our side of the country but it wouldn't last more than a month. san diego is nice. today we went to downtown san diego and ran around and annoyed the shit out of a lot of people. craig is a sweetheart. the padres field is nice, and i wanted to sneak in, but also didn't want to get arrested. for anyone interested, there are tons of openings for you to get in and would be very easy to run across the field. i'd like to see bowman do it, but first he would have to be a man and that's going to take a while for that to happen. first he'll have to get over his fear of a 21 year olds. what a wierdo.

kat has been letting us stay at her apartment for the last two days, and has been pretty cool about everything, but has also felt the need to wake everyone up by screaming in our faces. she has a long tounge. there's a picture of it, but it doesn't do it justice. her and rich have a couple things in common, including their love of the bridge9 message board, their lack of knowledge of what really is a black irish, and phone hanky panky.

sketo, "i'll get you with a big word.... MEN!!!" what a stupid asian.

rich miles puked right infront of two elderly people today at whole foods. surprisingly they weren't as disgusted as the rest of us were. he loves to puke. here is rich miles top 5 favorite things to do :
1. talking to nicktape on the phone
2. puking and acting like it didn't happen
3. rolling around on the ground and giggling
4. phone sex
5. pooping wear poop doesn't go

scott sketo has been drunk since we landed in california and it's started to get out of hand. today he was drinking gin and punched a dog. later when craig asked him why, he responded, "the dog was asking for it, he had evil eyes and told me he was god." nothing he has been saying has made any sense. his asian accent makes it very difficult to understand him when he's drunk and slurring his words, so klint has been having a field day with it. sometimes i laugh.

brads racism has gotten totatlly out of hand and craig attempted to shake it out of him today but it only made it worse. we've realized that brad doesn't feel comfortable being in southern california cause, in his words, "it's a lot like connecticut, without the whites." i'm not sure if that makes any sense, but i know what he's getting at. hopefully he doesn't get us into trouble in mexico.

klint is hanging out with a lady friend. her name is melissa and he posted a picture of her earlier. she smells wierd and has a problem with my old diary. i think i saw her peeing on the van earlier when no one was around. today klint decided to try and come up with a new racial slur for every race, and has made it his new goal to get them accepted as inappropriate things to say in public. the things you do with a physics degree.

craig has done no wrong today, and i believe is the only other sane person on this tour. ladies, he's about to tie the knot and get married, so you only have a small time period to take him away from his fiance before it's too late.

my conclusion of the day - everyone is stupid except me.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Melissa Meyer?

I went to highschool with Melissa. She was gracious enough to join us
for a night of audio entertainment.

Che Cafe

We're at the Che Cafe show. This place is real cool, except for the
fact that California is freezing cold and you set up merch outdoors.

Suck an egg

he's not right

j man ladies and germs